The e-Mail.

So this is the post I was going to write shortly after the post before the last one.

I work at a college residence, and I know there is potential for a LGBT community there that I feel isn't being recognised, so I wrote an e-mail to a colleague who has more of a hand in this kind of decision-making.
What follows is that e-mail:

Hey Shauna!

Arthur and I were chatting last night about maybe holding some kind of event aimed at the LGBT community and their allies.
There didn't seem to be many events that encouraged a safe support network and a social environment for us, and although we know we would be welcome to any of the events held at Res or even the College Name GSA; I, or someone in my shoes might not feel particularly drawn to socialize completely-comfortably in other situations or might not get what we might be hoping to find.

As I am observing; Residence can be a funny place. So many people come from all walks of life and are all made to share the same small home. This causes some residents to make new friends quite quickly and start a new chapter in their lives away from home, while others may be a little shy and being thrust into a building full of 300 strangers may cause them to feel even more isolated.

Many students come to post-secondary schools hoping for a new beginning. High-school or even their homes might not have been the most friendly place for them especially if they were "different". I would say it is the first few years away from home when students really start to become who they are supposed to be, and some need a little bit of reassurance that they're still okay.
I myself didn't tell my parents I was dating a girl until half-way through my third year of college. That was 16 months after I joined the College Name GSA as a "straight female" because my gay roommate and now best friend thought it would be good to meet new people and show our support for others who shared our beliefs and 6 months after starting to date my first girlfriend. I don't know what I would have done without my buddy Mike and the GSA. I don't know what my ex-girlfriend would have done without her lesbian roommate/best friend encouraging her to join when she identified as "straight".

Since then College Name's GSA has changed quite a bit. I still know many of the students who attend/lead it and I by no means want to step on any toes there but the kind of people there might not be for everyone. I am still friends with them but they might be a little... extreme. Most of them have been students for about as long as I have and an outsider may find them a little too clicky.
A couple of students I have talked to in the residence weren't even aware that College Name had its own GSA.

My hopes would be to have some kind of event to establish some friendships outside of the student's classes, and encourage a safe environment within the residence.
I believe in the upcoming weeks (perhaps in February or maybe March) Carol has a Real-Talk event regarding the LGBT community. Maybe there is something we can do before then? Maybe an event like this is something our employer might not go for or might feel like it might put students "at risk", but if that were the case then that is the reason we SHOULD have a community like this.

I may have over-stepped my boundaries, and if so; I apologize. This might be more of an issue to bring up to the college, but I would like to see more events either here or there that promote self-growth, community, and especially unity for those of us who at one time or another may have felt "different".

Thank you for your time,
I hope this e-mail wasn't too lengthy.
~John

A couple of days later (because I sent this on a Thursday and then Shauna couldn't respond for the next few days) I got a response to my e-mail:

Hey John:

Great email-such good ideas.

Yes, I am totally on-side with an LGBTQ event. February seems packed with events around Valentine’s Day , and they have to be jammed in before the break, but March has little of interest to offer beside St Paddy’s.

Being pretty new to College Name myself I have not met anyone from the GSA and only know of it because of a casual conversation with someone from College Student Union.

You are a very talented writer; your email reads like an article (yeah, you got me, I’m asking if you would be willing to write an article for the March newsletter).

I think you, Arthur, and I should set a mtg for when I’m back from break. Let’s aim for week of February 12. I am confident that we can come up with one or more program ideas for March that would be really interesting to rez students and would hopefully attract an under-served demographic.

I think the peeps in rez will be fascinated by your story. And I know for a fact they are curious about Arthur but too shy to ask. Perhaps we can identify someone else with a unique story/perspective who might be willing to share his/her story.

I don’t have much to offer from my personal experience other than some amusing anecdotes from PFLAG mtgs

Before I left Other College Name I was in the process of creating an event based on two speakers (one of whom was a summer resident) who are active members of the S&M Community; their experiences with administration, instructors, peers, and roommates at College Name was fascinating. I don’t think anyone has moved forward with this in past couple of monthes.

I don’t want to wait for Carol cus I think we have a good sense our students and are more than capable of reaching out to them in a way that will be effective.

Thanks so much for the suggestions and ideas-this will be a great focus for next month. Oh, and FYI, it takes a lot to “over step” with me so that isn’t something to waste time worrying about.

Chat soon.
Shauna

SHIT I HAVE TO WRITE AN ARTICLE FOR OUR NEWSLETTER NOW?!
THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN!

Phone Calls and Christmas Cards

Last week I called my Ex's mother. I just wanted to wish her family a merry Christmas because other than my family hers was the only one I've ever spent Christmas with and I spent 2 with them. I have never even spent it alone until this year.

Yesterday and today I received 2 cards in the mail. The first was from her mother and aunt and uncle. They also sent me a gift card which was highly unnecessary. The second was from her sister. It also contained a gift card to Timmie's.

My roommates saw me tear up twice in 2 days because of these. I feel like a huge sook. I'm really going to miss them this year. I really feel as though I have an extended family through my Ex (atleast on her mother's side) and I was worried I was going to lose them once we had broken up.

Her step-mother however is a different case. When my Ex told her step-mother about us her step-mother said "this doesn't surprise me at all, I never thought you'd end up with a man" (at this time I was still going by female although my Ex and I had talked about how I felt) After a few months of being separated (and quite a few months of going by male pronouns amongst friends) and my Ex was going to visit her dad and step-mother I told my Ex "Don't let her tell you that she never saw you ending up with a woman anyways" My Ex texted me before she was going to bed that night and said that that was exactly what her step-mom had told her that day. I was so pissed.
I can't stand it when people tell you things like that. Like they "knew you would be a lesbian" or "gay" or "trans" or any of those things. No one can tell you that they knew you would be a certain way. They may think they can so they can put you into a little box that helps them understand the world better but no one can label you.

You can try to label yourself but I think you'll find that things will change. Your tastes, your hobbies, your preferences, your hair colour or maybe even your gender.

Anyways I got side-tracked. Things that I am thankful for this year: My family, my Ex's family for still being so welcoming and loving, my friend's family for asking if I would be joining them out of the city for Christmas (sorry guys I have to work Christmas Day) and for another friend who asked his Aunt if it would be okay if he brought a friend on Christmas Eve. I really appreciate it. I mean, I'll have to break it to my roomie's cat that I can't spend the night with him ordering Swiss Challet and watching HIMYM but I think he'll understand. I'll spend my Boxing Day with him instead.